These situations haven’t changed much. My identity is still a threat to me. It may effect my promotions, appraisals, friendships and relationships. I live every moment of my life in this fear. I feel that there will be many like me who will be leading such dual lives… we deceive ourselves, trying to hide our identities.
No, that’s not another post about 377 on Kafila. It’s about something else, on a fantastic new blog that you should immediately add to your feedreader.
KAFILA - COLLECTIVE EXPLORATIONS SINCE 2006 
thanks Shivam Vij for this pointer.
“In our youth, we deliberately abstained from having romantic relationships. I used to think that the moment girl will get to know my identity, she would desert me…”
….and he would also desert her!
Words which fall like a knife straight into the heart,
how many more millennia to say “yes, i love you”?
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Here’s Sumit Baudh’s intense piece on ‘coming out’ in two contexts – as queer and as Dalit.
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Nivedita, thanks for the link to sumit baudh’s essay. On reading his essay and one other essay on a dalit student’s experience with coming out, i posted the following note to the facebook community (believe we shouldn’t give up that space to the ususal crap) and am posting it here for you to read. Thanks.
“Following links lead to two intense articles on ‘coming out’. Strongly recommend that you read them.
The reflections of a Queer Dalit on http://www.tarshi.net/asiasrc/plspk/2007_3/Bigger_Picture.asp ; and
Why I don’t want to puke Gandhi and Marx any more? on http://blog.insightyv.com/?p=276&cpage=2#comment-271;
These two experiences are intense alright. But they are particularly compelling for me because the authors are close friends; they live close by, they went to the school across the street, were in the same college and in the same class as us; were our room mates and are now our colleagues. Personally, I don’t know them. But collectively i’m sure we know them. They are us.
That complex dynamics of caste identity are at play in our society today, is something we assume all of us know and acknowledge. Inside this arena, it is not uncommon that the process of coming to terms with one’s dalit identity, particularly for the middle class dalit child who grows up in a upper class stronghold that is the Great Indian Middle Class, carries attendant psychological stresses. This needs to be acknowledged by everyone. Because this is important, because its late in the day now.
We know what induces and aggravate this stress. We do. To put it simply. The details we can get into later. The more important question however, is – can we or can we not work towards more easy access to support and solidarity for the dalit child and the young adult who begins to go through this grind very early on in his school life? I suggest we look at it as something that requires immediate attention and a campaign.
Some of us understand the odds faced by the individuals and organizations doing meaningful, serious work in relation to dalit rights and identity. We admire their resolve and their struggle. We also understand how much remains to be done before a semblance of dignity comes to the larger dalit population.
In the backdrop of this mamoth task, of course the activist is tempted to scoff at the already middle class dalit child’s plight. A rather juvenile sort of whinning it may seem to those who are constantly aware of the large scale atrocities that are committed everywhere on dalits with impunity in this day and age. But it is a plight unique to the child so placed. And I am no expert on the richter scale of trauma. But surely all trauma “erodes the self and blows holes into existance”.
Some, if not all of us (this is on facebook afterall, who am I kidding?), must discuss this further and educate ourselves on what can be done to address this common experience. Perhaps educational institutes need to be sensitised to this problem. How about an action plan to induce them towards a more vibrant environment where such seemingly individual stresses are not sweeped under the carpet but addresses directly and confidently as common systemic problems without creating any hostility; in a fresh manner!
Feel free to comment. Thanks.
‘Long Road Ahead for Dignified Dalit Identity’ – (Outside Ambedkar Park, Lucknow)
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