Boutique Owner Brutally Tortures 13 Year Old Boy: (Don’t Worry, She’s Fine)

In yet another shocking incident reflective of the declining standards of morality and respect for property rights amongst the young, a 13 year old boy was accused of stealing money from a shop.

However this story is special for the amazing presence of mind displayed by the boutique owner Pinki. With that special sixth-sense that only mothers are gifted with, Pinki intuitively realised that the boy had nothing to do with the stolen money whatsoever and immediately proceeded to beat him up. Not one to leave a job half done she then shaved his head, stripped him naked and as a final touch (reminiscent of her attention to detail as a fashion designer) inscribed “I am a Thief” on his stomach and back. The boy was then paraded naked in the market place.

When asked how she had come up with such an archaic yet novel idea, she demurely spoke of the strong family values and respect for Indian traditions her parents had instilled in her since she was young. But their focus on a good education ensured that she grew up with a clear sense of her rights and entitlements. “The middle-class forgets that it only when people like you and me stand up for the right to humiliate and torture that will we have real social justice in this country,” she is reported to have said.

Her ordeal was not over yet however.

The boy went home and tried to commit suicide. With alarming alacrity the family of the boy filed a complaint at the Dwarka police station. However in the nick of time Pinki was able to contact the family and force them to withdraw the case. “That was really close, ” talking about it later she said, “I really thought the situation was lost. But my faith in God helped me through and showed me what to do even when the situation was on the brink of getting hairy.”

“An ‘amicable’ settlement was reached between the two parties,” said a police officer, as he winked at the journalists gathered. The ever-present danger that a member of the upper-class might actually be brought to book was quickly allayed by a concerted effort by all departments, displaying a rare level of “public-private partnership”.

Hopefully, said Deputy Comissioner of Police, this time too the citizens of Delhi will rally together to ensure that the incident is forgotten as soon as possible. We have every reason to believe that his faith will not go unrewarded.

The local Residents Welfare Association have formed a committee to mark her brave act. They met the President this morning with a memorandum proposing her name to grace next year’s Republic Day Parade astride a bull elephant. Though the honour is normally reserved for bravery displayed by children, as opposed to bravery displayed in the face of children, sources in the Presidents Office say an exception will be made given the extraordinary nature of her act. “After all, what this woman has done is strike a blow against juvenile delinquents everywhere, without which no one is safe anywhere,” the President is reported to have said.

When asked for comments she giggled coyly and said, “Yes, I have heard about the memorandum. But of course it is for others to judge.” Bravery with humility, a rare combination indeed in these cynical times.

Not one to rest on her laurels, Pinki is back to work after the harrowing incident, ready to take on whatever challenges the world of women’s tailoring might throw at her. It is citizens such as Pinki, that in these troubled times, prove to us that Delhi truly is the “first city”.

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