Guest Post by CHAYANIKA SHAH

Altruistic. Meaning: showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish.

So once again the government is asking women to be unselfish and show selfless concern for the well being of others. The “others”, however, have been clearly marked. It has to be people within the close family. Women dare not feel selfless or altruistic concern for anyone other than those that are connected to them genetically or through marriage (since that is what defines a family by law and dominant customs). This concern should be so selfless that they should also not worry about their health after the pregnancy, they should not care for the loss of employment or any other changes that may happen in their lives as a result of this concern that they show for a family member. After all we are living in the “Indian ethos” where women are supposed to sacrifice for their “families,” and for none other. And in any case, till very lately, until all these new fangled ideas of women being natural guardians etc. came up, women were giving this altruistic services to their husbands. They are used to it and this is merely an extension of their familial labour. Simple!

It is such a waste of women’s reproductive potential that they bear children just for their husband. The family may as well benefit from the labour of the woman, and it be shared with other family members too. Especially for those who have married as per all the caste and community norms and have even stuck together for five years in spite of not having a child. Why should the hard earned money of “the family” be squandered on someone else? Is that not wasting the potential of women? After all why have we have saved the girl child? So that our boys can have the right girls to marry and also so that we can continue with our eugenic marriage and child bearing practices within the right caste and gotra unions.

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