At a media interaction on 26 October, the Malayali actor-turned-politician tried to turn his reel-life into real life. Once known mainly for his cine-avatar as the perpetually-angry, elite-justice hungry, thoroughly-misogynist ‘hero’ characters (yes, despite some better roles), Mr Gopi behaved with unbelievable condescension towards a woman journalist who asked him a question. Instead of answering her in a meaningful and civil manner, he turned into one of his obnoxious on-screen avatars. He put his hand on her shoulder and addressed her as ‘mole’ (daughter, literally, but also a condescending reference used by male lovers/husbands to refer to their loves/wives). She was clearly unhappy with the gesture, and backed away. Probably because the man has now become actually indistinguishable from the rotten, stinking masculinity he represents on-screen — knowingly or otherwise — he put his hand right back on her shoulder.
Continue reading Surviving the Suresh Gopis and their Gender-InsultsTag Archives: #metoo
#whatnow? Ponni
THIS POST IS WRITTEN BY PONNI
To all the men, women, and all those of named and unnamed genders in my life, intimate, private and public, who have shown me safety, joy, pleasure, comfort and love and who ask of me, gently, the same. I love you all.
I was raped when I was 14, Or maybe 15. Not sure. It took me three years to realise it happened. Another ten to choose to begin to deal with it. And another six to realise the details and extent of what happened. And so, the process continues. Far from over. So yeah, #metoo.
When I moved to Delhi I called home crying everyday, not only because I didn’t know Hindi and everyone chided me by calling me madrasi, but because I got sexually harassed everyday. It wasn’t the ‘far away’ whistling kind I was used to in Chennai. I saw penises from unzipped pants in the crushing closeness of Delhi buses. Again, on the bus, I had men masturbate on my shoulders and am still showering to get it off me. So yeah, #metoo.
Once I was older, I acquired some ‘power’ (by my standards) – people had heard of my name from publications, activist work – I was accused or it was implied that I could have sexually harassed or abused two women at two different times. I was in romantic relationships with them. Neither one made the accusation public. Neither one of them were my equals in age, or cultural capital. One of them got in touch many years later and tried to establish a friendship again while implying that she never meant to make me feel that way. But I was too scared to even respond. The other was much closer to me and so I said more and she said more to me. She was the one I had a physical relationship with. I will never forget that feeling of power, enormous self doubt, and painful reflection. I will always ask myself what my intentions were, how I may have expressed them and why I wasn’t able to negotiate power in a way that was adequately and appropriately dignified, respectful, kind and most importantly equal-ising.
KAFILA - COLLECTIVE EXPLORATIONS SINCE 2006 