[ This short guide is being released to the general public which is liable to fall into error and confusion in the wake of the recent Supreme Court judgement in Devidas Ramachandra Tuljapurkar vs. State of Maharashtra restricting freedom of speech and expression pertaining to what the Honourable Justices who have looked at this case call ‘historically respectable personalities’.]
1. Petition all history departments to start courses in historical respectability so that you know who is who and what is what.
2. Having carefully studied the history of respectability, separate out all historically respectable personalities. Genuflect.
3. Then, from those that remain, make a list of historically disrespectable personalities, starting with yourself.
4. Refer to a historically respectable dictionary of slang – for instance, ‘Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang’ by Jonathan Green, the works of William Shakespeare, or a set of curses of the historically respectable Muni Durvasa
5. Choose at least ten colorful insults, curses and terms of abuse, from the above. and construct a poem, written in the ‘voice’ of a historically disrespectable person.
6. Print in large characters, along with an image of a historically disrespectable personality.
7. Stand singly, or in groups, with the large character posters with the poems in the ‘voice’ of historically disreputable personalities in meditative silence in front of the honorable Supreme Court of India, and in other public spaces, while considering the sagacious wisdom of our historically respectable judiciary.
8. Be ever grateful that you know now that you can always protect your constitutionally guaranteed and judicially protected freedom of speech by ventriloquizing to your hearts content in the abusive voice of a historically disrespectable personality.
9. And learn this formula by heart – “The dignity of historically respectable personalities cannot be protected without the self-flagellation and abuse of historically disrespectable personalities, which includes the majority of all populations, in all societies, in all times.”
10. Never disobey a law, or a judgement. Only take obedience to its logical conclusion.